"Alex!", I hear you cry, "What options are out there, and which can you recommend? Help!".
Here are my top five from the last week, in no particular order.
If you are a knife and fork burger eater (no judgement, I am too!) or you are ok with greasy hands, brush the outside of the mushroom with oil too.
Pro Tip. Leave the stalks in. Arrange the bottom layers of your burger in the ring made between the stalk and rim of the mushroom. Then rest the burger on the stalk, and then add the toppings, salad, and top half of your "bun". The stalks hold the burger (or in my case, steak) in place and also help in preventing all the other burger components getting squirted everywhere.
Verdict: Alright, but harder to eat with your hands. They don't absorb those delicious burger juices either.
2: Baked Aubergine Slices
As soon as I got home I sliced it into discs and then rubbed olive oil into them. Following this, I rubbed a little coconut flour into the olive oil, and put them in the oven at 150°C for around 30 minutes, then turned off the heat, leaving the fan on however until everything cooled.
I then prepared the meat (this time it was sausages) and assembled the burger. The meat was laid straight on the bottom "bun", as aubergines are fairly absorbent. Then pickles, some mustard, lettuce and the top of the bun.
Verdict: Very tasty. Structural integrity is compromised somewhat when you bite into it, but it is still manageable.
Admittedly, it's not the easiest to hold. Mine broke up a bit, as I got the meat mix slightly wrong. But do you really care? Pick up that knife and fork, and if someone criticises you, punch them. Eating a burger made of meat gives you that right.
Another way you can eat this burger, or indeed any burger that threatens to eject its contents on its way from plate to mouth, is to get a lettuce leaf and use it as an edible wrapper around the burger. That's a trick I learned from The Bird.
Verdict: Delicious. And something you can feasibly request in a restaurant; the ingredients are all there, it's just presentation.
4: Bacon Lattices
How? Make two streaky bacon lattices and grill them on both sides. It's important to grill rather than fry, as you want them to be crispier so that they are more stable. If you only have the ability to fry, don't add any other oil to the pan, pat excess oil off the lattices after cooking, and maybe resort to the lettuce leaf trick detailed above!
Verdict: I never thought I'd say this, but you can have too much meat. Bacon + steak means you enjoy both less. The bacon lattices would serve far better as "bread" for a vegetarian based sandwich filling. Such as avocado, or salad, or chicken (feathers are just camp leaves anyway).
5: Coconut Buns
These turned out moist, relatively flavoursome, structurally sound; all round well suited to house a burger or steak.
The basic recipe you'll find at SCD Foodie. I increased the amount of butter slightly and also added a pinch of arrowroot starch. A couple of sloshes of unsweetened almond milk helped increase the moisture content too.
Verdict: The burger-bunniest burger bun.
What have you tried in the past?